We usually believe that insecurities, especially those related to our body are something normal because everyone has them. Even those who have a “perfect” body.
But the fact that the problems of body confidence are common doesn’t mean that we must trivialize them
If our self-esteem is low we tend to work worse to commit ourselves less, and to be more assertive. Also sexually. And this exposes us even more to the possibility of running into illnesses, eating disorders or mental health problems – such as depression, anxiety or dysmorphic body disorder.
First of all we must learn to understand that, although body shape is an obsession of our society, we can have self-esteem regardless of it. This doesn’t mean that our body shape doesn’t count, but simply that this is not the apex for our self-esteem. And this is demonstrated by the fact that so many thin people still feel inadequate
Self-esteem doesn’t only concern body shape. Body shape in fact says nothing about our value as a person.
Self-esteem and compliments
This doesn’t mean that you can no longer tell friends that they are beautiful in their body. But if we’re talking about helping someone (and us) build their self-esteem compliments based only on body shape aren’t the best choice.
By complimenting only others’ body we help them feel better in the way they are at that moment. But we don’t build anything to help them feel secure. even when they might have a different body. Because they could take some pounds or have a sudden attack of acne or their skin change by age or their body change due to medicines or pregnancy or illness.
So the problem are not the compliments.The problem is that as long as we receive more compliments for our body shape than our intelligence, our kindness, our perseverance or any other similar aspect of ourselves, our self-esteem will not improve. And we will not love our body as it is now and as it will be in the future.
Body Image and Self-esteem
The advice to love our body must not be misleading. Otherwise we get stuck on the image in their mirror reinforcing the idea that it’s in the body shape our own happiness. While we must work to love, respect and appreciate ourselves as multi-faceted people where body shape is only a small part that must have no more meaning (and therefore more power over us) than it deserves
We cannot believe that body shape matters more than anything else. We must fight to ensure that the ideals of beauty are no longer restricted, but we must also start to ensure that body shape doesn’t count too much for us.
How to have Self-esteem regardless of Body Shape
For this reason, having self-esteem doesn’t mean being fearless people who don’t care about others’ comment. Otherwise self-esteem will seem very beautiful in theory, but unworkable in practice
We are all social creatures so we care about how we look to others. We want others to think positive things about us that we are intelligent, compassionate, successful, reliable, fun. And also that we look nice
Having self-esteem therefore doesn’t mean not feeling better for a compliment asking for a second opinion for a new haircut or spending so much time on makeup for a date
The difference is that having self-esteem means that when someone makes a negative comment about our body this will not ruin our day or affect our decisions substantially
Something external and changeable like body shape can’t be the basis to build our self-esteem on regardless we like our body or not